Saturday, June 10, 2006

My Newest Work Responsibilities

Haven't been able to get the usual wireless reception from the couch recently. So here I am in the Admin Building, which is bustling with guests.

The job is going well. In addition to my usual office responsibilities, I am also part counselor and part dad. For instance, this is an actual conversation held with our new office assistant, Hannah:

Hannah: Seth, stop what you're doing. I have an important question to ask you.

Me: Okay, what is it?

Hannah: Should I get my nose pierced?

Me (shifting to Father Mode): This is an important question? You already have lots of earrings....

Hannah: I know, but I want to pierce my nose. I think it'd be way cute. But my parents will kill me when I come home.

Me: Excuse me, I've got important work to do.

Or this little scene involving Tina, the office manager, and Bob, her ex-con-ex-boyfriend-now-just-good-friend:

Me (answering phone): Housekeeping, Seth speaking.

Voice: Yeah is Tina there?

Me: Who is this?

Voice: Bob.

Me: Bob, it's really busy. You can't call here.

Bob: Okay, well, will you have Tina call me when she has the chance?

Me: Sure.

Tina (after returning his call): He was really hurt when you told him he can't call. I think he was about to cry. I told him you were joking.

Me: I wasn't joking. You told him the same thing yesterday. YOU'RE ALWAYS UNDERMINING MY AUTHORITY!
That's a completely unhealthy relationship, but she can't see it. We're working through this issue in our counseling sessions.

And now the girls have started to call me Martha (as in Stewart) because I've been trying to clean up the clutter in the office. I'm sorry, but the place looks like an old man's basement. I can't get work done if everything's a mess and can't find the things I need to do my job. Besides, all the Lost and Found crap is already overwhelming.

Pretty sure that doesn't warrant calling me Martha.