Not only is such a thing utterly disgusting, I dare say it verges on sacrilege (akin to what we meant when in college we used to say, "alcohol abuse"). Furthermore, I can name countless things that are in fact better than swimming in beer. Like drinking a beer during a shower, for one.
Don't look at me like that. This is serious business.
My old roommate Nick introduced me to this great pleasure of life, though the exact scenario is a bit hazy. I believe he had been doing some manual labor all day and, prior to Sunday Dinner, headed into the bathroom, beer in hand.
First of all, though cumbersome, I usually refer to this activity as “having a beer in the shower” or “showering with a beer” because to unfamiliar ears the term “beer shower” could be misunderstood as “showering using beer” (which would be as bad as swimming in it). That being said, here I will use “beer shower” for brevity's sake.
If you have never drunk a beer in the shower, you have never lived life. The warmth of the water and the coldness of the beer makes for a pleasant contrast. A beer shower is an excellent way to cap off a hot summer's day or unwind and relieve stress.
Two things should be taken for granted (though to be thorough I will state them anyway):
- You should be legally capable of drinking alcohol.
- You should be drinking beer from glass bottles. No good beer comes in aluminum cans.
And while "drinking a beer in the shower" may seem self-explanatory, there are a few things to consider for a pleasurable experience:
- Crack open the beer in the kitchen. Drink a bit before the shower and save some for when you've toweled off afterward. This is a experience to be prolonged and savored.
- The bottle should be placed where no soap lather can splash inside.
- Keep the bottle within reach. I find the shampoo caddy hanging from the shower head to be ideal. If all else fails, I suppose you could set it on the toilet tank, but reaching in and out through the curtain would be somewhat inconvenient, and inconvenience has no place in a beer shower.
- Also, I do not recommend shaving your face afterward. Doing so is just asking for trouble. I have to assume the same goes for shaving one's legs.
- Finally, a beer shower is a luxury, and as such should be enjoyed sparingly and with extraordinary gratitude.